Saturday, July 24, 2010

Bedridden bitchin': Part III

I'm feeling down. I need to start running, get my adrenaline pumping. Sitting Lying around is making my back hurt. I feel so worthless and weak. When will the pain go away?

Bedridden bitchin': Part II


I didn’t make a full recovery by the next day like I had intended to in part one of the Bedridden bitchin’ series. Apparently, the doctor and nurses are convinced that I dreamt the entire conversation about how I would be making a full recovery within two days after the surgery. Seeing the disappointment in my eyes after being told this, the doctor and nurse assured me that I was indeed very healthy and they don’t see a problem with me resuming to my normal daily activities in the next two weeks.

The day I wrote that post, I was on lots and lots of painkiller medications. Even with the medications, I was still in great pain. The only thing that kept me from literally crying from the pain was to sleep. I couldn’t do much. I couldn’t sit up, stand, or walk. It was a struggle to get to the bathroom on my own. Watching television made me dizzy. My cousin took me out to lunch on Sunday and I threw up on the way there and on the way back. It was horrible!

Lesson learned: The only fun activity I did during my painful week of recovering was sleep. Fun.

My mom kept cooking my favorite dishes, which I couldn’t even eat. Everything sucked that week. I stayed anti-social and didn’t want visitors or anyone to know of my ordeal.

Yesterday, I couldn’t breath correctly so I rushed back to the hospital. Apparently, all my other organs were squishing my diaphragm. I’m still having labored breathing and am told NOT TO DO ANYTHING STRENOUS like simple walking around or picking up my heavy handbag. I went kayaking on Thursday. I didn’t tell the nurse that yesterday. >=)

I really don’t like doing nothing. I miss running. I’m depressed because I can’t run until August. I’m glad I went kayaking to keep my sanity in check. I’m thinking about going again later this week when it isn’t crowded in Lake Natoma.

I’m just grateful that I’m getting better. The nurse says the first 5 days after the surgery are usually the hardest days during the recovery time. But I’m lucky to have eaten right, done the right exercises, and chosen a healthy lifestyle along with great genes that I’m doing much better than most women who had the same operations as I did. I can’t bear the thought of someone going through the same pain I had gone through for more than five days.

It’s been a week since the surgery. It still hurts to walk fast and long. It hurts to stoop down to pick up my dogs. It hurts turn and twists my body. I just have one more week to get over this.

My mom is making more food I can’t digest even if I tried. Yummy stir fried clams in coconut sauce. Oh how I want you so…

In the line of duty: My volunteer work

A few days ago, I received an exciting email from the organization in which I happily volunteered for during the 2009-2010 school year. It was three separate emails with references to the assessment testing done to three students that I had worked closely with several hours a week this year. Each email contained the students’ name, grade, and teacher along with their outstanding results.

I felt a sharp pang in my chest as I read each result quietly to myself. I wasn’t sure if the sharp pang was from my painkillers medication or if it was just my cold, beating heart trying to warm up and allow emotions to dawdle within it.

When I first started working with each student, I noticed the uneasiness and the struggles each students had with reading.

My oldest student, who I met with once a week after my cycle class at 24 Hour Fitness, was a very bright student with an interesting Irish name. This student’s picture is featured on the school’s wall of high honor students who excelled in their studies. Given that the student is smart, this student really struggled with reading. I wasn’t sure why since, judging from this student’s personal file: grew up a normal life with two supportive yet adoring parents and a much older half-brother. I won’t disclose anymore details on this students’ normal life, but I’m glad this student was able to jump from being two grade levels behind on reading and rising to an astonishing 2.65 grade levels within a year.

The two other students had unfortunate pasts that affected their school studies greatly along with being unable to read at their respective grade levels. With enough push and shove, I’m proud to say, these two students have improved by moving a little over one grade level up on their reading skills.

Honestly, that makes me tear up a little. A little one on one with each student for a couple of hours a week was all it took to see big improvements and big smiles.

I’m hoping that once September rolls around, I’ll start volunteering as a reading tutor again before I start my full time job in November. I wish there was a way in which I could take two or three hours off a week to tutor more students or the same ones in the program. But knowing how my future job is already, I’m not even too sure if my line of work will permit any time off before 5pm. The world of politics and policies is demanding but I love it. I wish I didn’t have a desire to work in state or federal policies. That way I could focus more time on helping others in need. 

A little advice: helping your community can be therapeutic. It certainly has helped me.

*smug* =)