Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Frustrations, frustrations, frustrations

A close friend as I were exchanging emails back and forth about upcoming plans for the next few weeks and she used a phrase that just irks me. I've asked her dozens and dozens of times (literally) during the five years of our friendship to refer my significant others as either A. their given first names or B. boyfriends. My requests had always gone ignored. However, today it finally occurred to me that I should explain to her my complicated, emotional reason for why I hated the term "your man" as opposed to "your boyfriend." She said to me in the email "Can your man give me piano lessons today?" After reading the end of that sentence, I went into somewhat of a rage. That term has always bothered me. I take that phrase literally by reasons that it sounds like enslavement or ownership rather than endearment (which was her offense). The way I see this is that human life isn't a commodity. People are people. It's a shame that today, humans are still being used as commodity in horrific ways. Take the Acholi children in Uganda for example who were stolen by the Lord's Resistance Army. Stealing children and using them as rebel soldiers against their own free will is enslavement and ownership. Young girls are used a sex slave due to their gender. These innocent children are the byproduct of political violence. Doesn't that just make your blood boil? My blood is at frying level, bring on the fried chicken! Having to call my significant other as my own personal creature just serves as a reminder of ownership. Just like the situation of human trafficking in Cambodia, Romania, Mexico, etc. Am I wrong to see it that way? If you believe so, then in my offense, the phrase "your man" or "my man" is slang. Sure, there are many variations of the phrase but I tend to see it as "Gurl, yo man be cheatin' on you." Why not step away from slang and use real terminolgy? There is absolutely nothing wrong with that statement, but the phrase is indeed slang. The reason why I take that phrase so literally is that it just serves as a reminder that enslavement still goes continues. This is something that I don't want to associate myself in. Maybe I'm taking it too far, but I tend to over-think things. Just to clarify, I see nothing wrong with everyone else making reference to their significant others as "your man" or "your woman" as long as it has nothing to do with me. I have no problem with people using that phrase and do not condemn those that do. It's their choice and as long as it isn't harming anyone else, I am all for it. I just don't like the term being referred to myself. I am probably taking it a bit too far, but I won't ever change my mind on it. I have given it much thought for the past five years and still have yet to change my decision on the term. After giving her a less condensed explanation of how I felt about the term, she agreed to stop calling my significant others (past, present and future) "my man." We've been friends for five years and she had always ignored my requests for her to stop. She always saw how uncomfortable I looked when she used that phrase. If she were truly my friend and cared so much about my well being, wouldn't she had honored my request five years ago and stop without me having to explain myself? If I say stop, it means stop. Honor it.